It is a common misconception that women with vaginismus dislike sex altogether. In fact, many women with this condition enjoy closeness with their partners and many get great pleasure from love play and some are able to reach orgasm in this way. But the enjoyment ceases when penetration is attempted or suggested. In the UK, women doctors who have been trained by the Institute of Psychosexual Medicine have by far the greatest experience of treating vaginismus.

There are several things that could cause this pain. They are problems with your cervix: the man's penis hits the cervix at the farthest extent of his thrust. So infections of the cervix and tender places on it can cause pain during deep penetration. This is called 'collision dyspareunia'.
Womb trouble: various womb disorders, including fibroids, can cause deep intercourse pain.
Endometriosis: this very common disorder often affects the womb and surrounding tissues. It makes them very tender, particularly near period times. The pressure of the penis on an area of endometriosis may cause intense, deep pain.
Ovary problems: cysts on the ovary can cause deep pain. Pain may also be caused if the tip of the penis hits an unusually positioned ovary.
Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID): this is caused by infection, and has become more common in the UK largely thanks to the bug called chlamydia. If chlamydia isn't treated, there is quite a chance of PID developing. In PID, the tissues deep inside become badly inflamed and so the pressure of intercourse causes deep pain.
Ectopic pregnancy: this means a pregnancy outside the womb, usually in the Fallopian tube. Pressure on it can be very painful and in this case it will soon be obvious that medical help is needed,as this is an emergency!

In actual fact another fairly simply fixed problem can be lack of lubrication
possibly due to nervousness, hang-ups and failure to relax. Unskilled foreplay by the man is a common cause, especially when it doesn't go on long enough. (Many women would like half an hour – but most don't get it!)

There are some women complain that their partner’s penis is too big.
In fact, when a woman is aroused and relaxed, the vagina extends by several inches – so any female should be able to accommodate any male.
But being unused to a larger man or previous problems with bladder infections or endometriosis might lead to anxiety and tension about sex.

A recent invention may be of use here. It's called the 'Come Close' and is a kind of cushioned ring that the man wears on the base of his penis. This reduces the length of the penis that goes into the vagina.

These are some other causes of more superficial pain.
Menopausal or post-menopausal dryness: This is usually due to a fall in female sex hormones. Treatment with HRT pills or hormone cream will usually put matters right. Ordinary sex lubricants will help, too.
Vaginal infection: These are very common. The one that huge numbers of women get is thrush. But there are numerous others, such as trichomonas. The blisters of herpes can also be really painful.
Injury to the vulva or vagina can occur during rape or sexual assault and later cause dyspareunia. Much more commonly, injury is caused by a childbirth tear or the episiotomy cut that is often made during labour. Badly healed stitching can also cause pain.

There are some conditions that can be addressed that will cause painful intercourse. Some for the are: Genital warts that are awfully common in these days of fairly promiscuous sex. Occasionally the warts can cause pain, especially if they get infected.

Inflammation of the vulva the opening to the vagina that be due to all sorts of causes, including chemicals in bubble-baths or soaps. Sometimes a haematoma of the clitoris can occur though this is still not widely known. It's actually a bruise or collection of blood in the clitoris, caused by excessive friction. It nearly always gets better within a few weeks.

Another possibility is a urethral caruncle a tender patch that develops at the urinary opening or even a foreign body in the vagina the usual culprit being forgotten tampon. It may cause pain, especially if the tampon leads to an infection.

There is another distressing and long-lasting condition in which the vulva is so sensitive, just touching the area makes the woman jump with pain.
Its cause is not yet known, but it can often be successfully treated.
The experts in dealing with it are the doctors at genitourinary medicine (GUM) clinics.

Cancer is a rare cause of intercourse pain, but it must be borne in mind for a woman who develops this kind of pain for the first time after the age of 40.

So that raises there question I think does intercourse pain affect men?
Apparently sometimes men do experience pain during intercourse.
Common causes of this pain are skin disorders on the penis such as eczema or psoriasis.
It can be that the woman's vagina is too tight for her partner. A good sex lubricant can help here.